AND THE AWARD FOR THE LAZIEST BLOG GOES TO...

Lazy assassins

The blog is written by potentially- intelligent Journalism students, who are defeated by Garfield’s curse of laziness.” I was one of the members of the blog but when I was unable to get inside the blog, I started to do my coursework on my own blog. I am shocked to come to the blog, for which I was one of four creators, to find only two posts! My own personal blog is far better than this. Maybe the rest of the group members were unable to to log in too, and ended up with their own blogs or maybe they started another blog.

Journ Assasins had the potential to be an amazing collection of beautifully written pieces if there were many posts. As one of the original members of the blog put it, “The writing will focus on international issues worthy of analysis, critical opinion or political dissection.” The blog had the potential to produce good analysis of the modern world. I am judging this by the quality of one of the posts in the blog called “A Question of Priorities.” The post is another proof that the blog has potential intelligent owners who leave you hungry with little information. There was not even the name of the writer!

What the blog does is to give you a drop of water on your heavily thirsty lips, only to spill the rest of the water on ground while you watch with your thirsty mouth. They need to invest in their work.

STUDYING ON TOP OF A TREE FOR HIGHER MARKS!!

As the exams are coming, I am coming up with ways to study well. One of the best ways is to study on top of a tree. It means that you will get higher marks.

I was to write my Linguistics test today on Japanese. Every normal Linguistics student knows that Japanese is the worst thing to ever invade Rhodes Lingusitics Department. There is no way you will get higher marks without some supernatural powers.

I found my powers from studying high, literally. Studying on top of a tree! Not only does it make you get higher marks(which is yet to be proved when the papers come back) but it also:

Garners crazy attention. The tree was on the way to the St Mary's dining hall and it made me a celebrity. Everyone was looking at me thinking I was mad(well that is not a good reputation). If the Linguisticas marks come back high, I swear I will study for the exams on top of the tree.


THOSE WHO STUDY HIGH PASS HIGH!

Cigarette suicide at Rhodes

Every single day, a number of Rhodes students commit suicide. The sad fact about this suicide is that it is silent. The reason why students forget that they are killing themselves, and others who are inhaling the fumes, is because this suicide is part of life. It has become an everyday norm. If one finds his friend trying to commit suicide, one will go to get help from a professional. The opposite will be for one who smokes.

The reason why I am saying that smoking is suicidal is because it is written on the pack, “Smoking kills.” This overtly dreadful message is ignored as one takes out a cigarette and smokes. I am also classifying smoking as suicide because we all know that every cigarette taken has the ability to reduce one’s lifespan.

Most of the students at Rhodes are generally in their teens and early twenties. It is disturbing when one thinks of how their lungs will be looking when they are in their thirties. Their health is also of great concern. The sad fact is that even though it is written on the pack that smoking can cause cancer, it seems to be ignored. Every day, students inhale chemicals that are dangerous to their health.

My main argument is that we are living in an ignorant world. People damage their lives when they know the consequences. Smoking is among the many ignored messages in our society. It is among drinking, unsafe sex, drugs, self-mutilation, to name but a few.

Forty seven billion RANDS to be used for Military!

The story is about how disappointed minister Lindiwe Sisulu is that the news about the new airbus military transport aircraft has already been spilled to the media, while she was still privately planning to brief President Jacob Zuma. The news is a delicate subject in South Africa because the money that is supposedly going to be used for the deal might be used to solve other problems in South Africa. An estimated R 47-billion is going to be spent for the new military aircrafts.

This news proves one of South Africa’s flaws in spending its money and serving its people. The money that is being talked about is not R 47-million but R 47-billion! In the midst of poverty, housing problems, poor education and the financial crisis, South Africa is using its money for new military aircraft. Is this more important than the education, housing and poverty alleviation of the country? It would at least make some sense if we were in a war with Iraq but we are not in a war. Just as one of the citizens in the accompanying video said, the last war we fought was World War II and it is not necessary for this military funding.

The action of putting all the money in the army in the middle of a financial crisis is shocking. I am also surprised that Lindiwe Sisulu was expecting such big news to be private in a democratic country, which has to promote transparency of information.

THE SILENCE OF THE VAGINA

The silence of the Vagina

By Ntendeni Luvhengo

The vagina has no mouth.

The vagina has no ears.

The vagina has no eyes.

The vagina has no legs.

The vagina is confined

In the pelvis of a woman.

Oh! What has the Lord done?

Not only did he yoke

The vagina in the pelvis,

But he added skin and meat

To fortify it to the pelvis.

Lucky be the vagina,

Blessed be the vagina,

That is caged in the pelvis

Of a woman with brains.

I pity the vagina

That is caged in the pelvis

Of a woman with only meat and skin,

But no brains.

If the vagina had a mouth,

It would speak for itself.

It would shout!

And ask for help before unsafe sex.

It would ask the penis

To leave it alone

Preceding soulless sex.

If the vagina had ears,

It would hear from a distance

The smell,

The sound of a penis,

In joy from away.

It would then

Do something about it.

If the vagina had eyes,

It would see the face

Of the penis

That rips it off.

And then report to the police

The name and identification

Of the penis that devalued it.

Maybe the police would draw

The picture of the penis

And maybe the law

Would take the penis to jail.

The vagina would MAYBE be relieved.

The vagina has no legs.

If the vagina had legs,

It would smell the penis from far.

It would hear it exciting from far.

It would see the face of the penis.

It would then ask the penis

To leave it alone,

And then run away.

Eve should be happy

That the vagina has no legs.

So should Adam.

If the vagina had legs,

It would sense

Soulless sex from farther away.

It would kick the penis hard.

It would then kick

The meat out the woman’s pelvis.

It would then kick the woman

Herself.

And Run away!

Run vagina Run!

You now have legs, so Run.

Run to the middle of the ocean.

Run to the darkness of the mist.

Run to the mountains.

Run to the forests and the bushes.

Run vagina run!

Run fast never stop!

All you vaginas run!

Fat vaginas.

Skinny ones.

Big ones.

All of you run fast.

And never show your faces again.

Never be the subject of rape again.

Never make money again.

Where the only reward

Was your degradation.

But the vagina is silenced

The vagina has no mouth.

The vagina has no ears.

The vagina has no eyes.

The vagina has no legs.

Yes, it has no legs.

MARRIED FOR 42 YEARS!!

Still in love: An elderly couple from Cape Town is seen here on Manday 05 October 2009, at the Greenacres Trunslux station in Port Elizabeth. They are waiting for the 9pm Trunslux to Cape Town from a small holiday in the Eastern Cape. They are ready to go back home finally, after a long wait for the bus.
They sit at the station, the old woman slumbering, while the old man tells me of how they have been married for 42 years, how his son was shot in the aparthied times, when he travelled the whole of South Africa as a driver and why they are still in love.
Picture: Ntendeni Luvhengo

GHOST AT NEW HOUSE

RUMOUR HAS IT THERE IS A GHOST AT NEW HOUSE. WHEN THE ORGANISATION OF WOMEN WHO LACK BEAUTY(OWLB) HEARD IT, WE LAUGHED BECAUSE WE THOUGHT IT WAS A HOAX. BUT A FRIEND HAS SEEN THE GHOST WEARING BLACK. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE SEE IT NEXT TO A TREE(RUMOUR) WEARING BLACK TOO AND IT DID NOT HAVE A FACE. GOD BLESS OLIVE SCHREINER. I HOPE WE HAVE NO SURPRISES TOO. ALL THE UGLY WOMEN DO NOT FORGET OUR MEETING ON THURSDAYS.

DB COOPERS MONEY IN SOUTH AFRICA?

WE ARE HERE TO INFORM YOU OF THE DEATH OF 'PRETTY UGLY' FROM OUR SOCIETY OWLB(THE ORGANISATION OF WOMEN WHO LACK BEAUTY). AS YOU KNOW, PU(PRETTY UGLY) WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LADY IN THE SOCIETY AND SHE EMBARASSED US WHEN WE TRAVELLED BECUASE SHE WAS TOO PRETTY FOR THE SOCIETY. WE ARE HAPPY THAT SHE IS DEAD THOUGH BUT ALSO SAD. WE ARE SAD THAT SHE HAD NO CHANCE TO KNOW THE TRUTH ON TIME. SHE DISAPPEARED SOMEWHERE BETWEEN JOZI AND PE BECAUSE SHE JUMPED OFF THE PLANE THINKING THAT SHE WAS GONNA FIND DB COOPER'S MONEY SOMEWHERE DOWN THERE. SHE SHOULD HAVE WATCHED 'PRISON BREAK' WITH US. DB COOPER'S MONEY IS BURRIED IN UTAH UNDER THE FLOOR OF A GARAGE OF AN OLD SEXUALLY LONELY WOMAN. R.I.P

the disgust of xenophobia

Opinion

Who is the “foreigner”?

By Ntendeni Luvhengo

Before I begin with the topic, let me make it clear that I have put the word “foreigner” in inverted commas because a light bulb moment once stoke my mind that made me start to question the use of this word and its connotation. I have also put the phrase “from overseas” in inverted commas because I started scrutinising this phrase too. These two phrases are the focus of this comment.

I originally wrote this article for mirror newspaper in Venda and it did not make it to the paper. The senior editor of the newspapers had a brief look at it and corrected me to use the phrase “who is a foreigner?” instead of “who is the foreigner?”. I accepted the change but I realised that I had to explain why I used the word “the’ instead of the word “a”.

The reason is that I wanted to create a scenario with the word “the” taking into account that the definite article intensifies the meaning of this opinion more than “a”. I wanted to create a scenario where two people would be sitting on a bench, one form Africa and the other from overseas. While these two are sitting next to each other, a father would come with the child and ask the child “who [of the two] is the foreigner?” expecting the child to answer. I wrote the whole opinion imagining this scenario. I also did not want to use the article “a” because it does not put the two groups of people in relation to each other as “the” would do. “The” reminds me that I am talking about one group in relation to the other and not in isolation.

I was sitting at a dinner table having the last meal of the day with my fellow girls from my university residence, Olive Schreiner at Rhodes University. While we were busy sweeping away the boredom of the day, as usual, we started discussing anything that could strike our minds. One of the topics that were raised was the topic of “foreigners”. I was not there when the topic started but I was surprised by the frequent use of the word. The reason why this word struck me was that it has a derogatory message underneath it that we take for granted. The word “foreigner” generally means ‘outsider, alien, non-belonging, savage, primitive’, amongst others. When I asked one of the girls at the table why she called those from other African countries “foreigners”, she said that it was the word used in the dictionary and that there was nothing wrong with the word. She also said that she did not find the word offensive. The light bulb moment struck me when I asked if she would call any American, European or Australian a “foreigner” and she answered that she would rather call them “form overseas’. I want to express how I feel about the way South Africans (I do not mean to over-generalize) see themselves and those from different countries. I find it interesting and controversial to call those other Africans “foreigners” while we call those from the first worlds “from overseas”. We call other Africans “foreigners” because we think that they are outsiders and less worthy, compared to ourselves and those from the first worlds. I say this because we even go to a length of calling Americans, European and Australians with the phrase “from overseas” instead of the one-word noun phrase “foreigners”. It would make at least some sense (not a lot of sense though) if we called those from the first worlds “foreigners” and those form other African countries “from other African countries” because we share soil with the latter. We find it hard to call those from overseas “foreigners” while we have no problem with the word that we use for those who share the same soil with us. I am not buying the excuse of of using the word just because it is from the dictionary. The connotation of the word is the one that matters.

Another point that I want to make is that we still have our minds colonised. Colonisation might be over in the papers but we are still colonised in the mind to think that those “from overseas” are more superior to us in a way that they deserve to belong to our country when they visit, better than those who share African soil with us. While I was thinking of this word and its connotation, I was reminded of a friend who once told me that, when South Africans (again I do not mean to say all South Africans) go to visit other African countries, they says statements such as, “We are going to visit Africa.” This meaning that we have started to think that we are in another planet and that African countries are another entity far away from us. At the moment, I have no word that people could use as a substitute to the word “foreigners”. My reason to writing this opinion is to stimulate thinking and to teach people to scrutinise the words that they use before they use them. This is also because I believe that language shapes the nation and the views that the nation has (thanks to my Linguistics lessons). It is the connotation that matters and not the dictionary meaning, so next time I ask you about the words that you use, do not give me the dictionary as an excuse because I will not but that. I however need not to impose my ideas on other people or make others believe in what I believe. I am very aware of the freedom of speech, choice and expression and aware that people have to choose what they believe in, what they say and how they call other people. I am however encouraging people to criticise their thoughts, beliefs and language. We also have to criticise the way we think about those who we call “others” to us and ask ourselves if we would be happy and comfortable being in the positions in which we put them

“Start thinking”, Ntendeni Luvhengo.